1. Traffic snaps
One of the world’s greatest phenomenas is not traffic. I feel comfortable guaranteeing every person who opened that snap has sat in traffic. There’s zero part of me that wants those tail lights. Unless you’re my “hit some traffic” boyfriend, then it’s mandatory.
2. Leg day
I too have dedicated a day to my legs and butt. I couldn’t sit on a toilet without wincing. I couldn’t walk up stairs without waddling. Maybe it’s because my world doesn’t revolve around a squat rack, but I’ve never felt the need to let you guys know yesterday was my leg day.
3. Travel junkies
Traveling is badass. I’ve learned in other countries, partied in other cities, explored other oceans and loved every minute. One thing I didn’t do was fall into that singleminded, narrow hallway of “travel is everything.” The conversations I’ve had drive me to judge. Never let anyone make you feel bad for pursuing a career. Don’t feel regretful about falling in love. About having a baby. Taking care of a loved one. Being a townie. Do you.
4. Moody Mondays
We all have Mondays. Whether it actually falls on Monday or on the weekend or mid-week, everyone has a day they get back to reality. I’m not happy about it either, but there’s literally nothing we can do but change our attitude.
5. Models aren’t real people
But they are. Gigi Hadid is a piece of art. My photoshop skills aren’t as impressive as my resume says, so I’d do worse to Gigi than good and she’d still look flawless. I understand girls shouldn’t realistically look up to someone like her, but there’s little reason grown women and men can’t respect a human beings’ beauty, like hers. In real terms, they were created just like you and me, man and woman, sex. I respect Arie’s Real Women campaign so hard, but same can said be about the Angels. I don’t fully understand the purpose of normalizing or berating a super model. I don’t look at Alessandra Ambrosio and think WHY WAS I CURSED WITHOUT YOUR LEGS? I think, damn Alessandra you slay. Respect beauty. Recognize photoshop. Move on. My opinion. Sorry if I offended you. I think you saying Gigi is fake is offensive.
6. Complaining about complaining
Pardon my hypercriticism.
7. Holiday retail rants
I’m not for a second going to compare retail workers to others who share the unfortunate need to work holidays. I will share my personal experience. When I was offered to serve food to the elderly at the local retirement home, I was pre-warned that holidays were mandatory. For 7 years of my life I worked Christmas or Thanksgiving or Easter or New Years or Independence Day or etc. Of course it sucked waking up at 6:30AM on Christmas morning, but I signed the paperwork. I could have quit at any point in time and got a job without such requirements, but I chose not to. If you genuinely disagree with unnecessary holiday employees then boycott the store. That’s my best advice. I’ve been boycotting Jamn 945 and iHeart Radio since they let go of Santi and Ramiro – feels great. So yes, hit up Tina’s Toys instead of Target this year. Local holiday shopping will do wonders for our economy. Your Facebook rant? Nah.
8. Drake haters
Take a backseat mini-Meeks. Drake is flawless.