High school was brutal for a lot of us. I knew a virgin who was deemed a whore because she talked to boys on the phone and was blonde. Whore. From the nerds to the populars, the unders to the uppers, the jocks to the druggies, we all got bullied. I got bullied for being thin.
Full-figured, busty, hot upperclassmen would make it a point to destroy me because they were unhappy with the gap between my thighs. They nailed into me for the flatness of my chest and the visibility of my hips. My wrists were too small and my neck made me look like an ostrich. Between class and lunch was the worst. Girls would throw food at my feet and tell me to eat it. Anorexic Amy was my name. If they happened to be in my lunch period and saw me eat a chicken wrap I’d then be accused of throwing it up. No matter what, I couldn’t win. I tried to gain weight for the sake of these people’s happiness, but I couldn’t. My best friend offered to steal me ensures, which I considered, but … no.
Up until this very moment I am thin and people still take offense to it. One of my biggest accomplishments was breaking 100 pounds, cue laughter in face. Stating that fact I am thin, cue the judgmental eye roll of get over yourself. Expressing my concern of a missing a week at the gym, cue the jaw drop body dysmorphic disorder assumption.
Big and beautiful is so in. I get it. Nicki says fuck them skinny bitches fuck them skinny bitches. That girl from Nantucket says it’s all about that big butt. Marilyn Monroe is what a real woman is. Feed the models.
Do you see what I’m getting at? A huge chunk of my life was made up of hatred towards my weight, hatred from myself to myself all inflicted by bullies. I cried a lot. I hated everything about myself. I’d binge eat devil dogs and Twinkies and lift my brother’s barbells. It wasn’t until college that I actually felt comfortable in my own sin. I don’t have a big butt with a great rack. I’m a size 2 with ugly feet. A lot of you might say big girls get it worse and I hear that, but can we give the naturally skinny girls who squat 50s for Drake a little respect? We wanna be thick too … at least I do